Please talk with your soon to be recruit about if there is a family emergancy if they want to be notified. Keep in mind there is nothing they can do while in bootcamp..and if it isn't an immediate family, Amercian red Cross does NOT have to send a message.
Please do NOT go spending money buying them all the items in the DEP book. Go here to see what they need and do not need. (I told my SIL...all my nephew needs is the paper work the recruiter and MEPS tells him to take, and a little cash, plus the clothes on his back, that is it!)
Who THEY want to go to PIR! It is their gradation..if the parents are divorced and he doesn't want the step parents, but wants his parents, girlfriend, and best friend. Respect their wishes!
Find out on here...where their school is. If you think it is in Great Lakes...ask here.
IF you are going to be taking care of their bills...keep in mind they will not see a paycheck for at least 4-6 weeks..and if they don't take the required paper work for the bank at home, they will open a new checking account and you will NOT have access to it. Also you will not get thier paystubs...it goes on line and only they can get them. If you they have a bank at home that you will be using, recommend you go to the bank (with soon to be recruit) and get a POA from them. Many banks will not allow POA's unless they are from the bank.
GET a POA (power of attorney) so that you can take care of what ever needs to be taken care of.
If the recruits car is going to not be used while they are gone, call the insurance company so you can lower the rates. Also if the recruit has any bills that will be required to be paid while they are gone, have him call them before he goes to see if they will hold off on payments and charges (can't hurt to ask).
While they are gone...get a passport...never know where their duty station will be and wouldn't it be cool to go to Japan for a trip?
Please add on...
I saw this on Facebook and shared it with my son. We thought it was sooooo cool, the last line of the post. My son graduated boot camp 10/8/10. I had NEVER been out of the states until this past Christmas. He got stationed in Japan, and sent me a plane ticket for Christmas!!!
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Angie. I wish I had read them BEFORE my recruit went off to bootcamp. I actually had a planned surgery that I scheduled for one week after my son would be gone, so that MY stress level would be lower. It occurred to me the day of the surgery that I had made a selfish decision in that my husband would have to decide whether to notify my son if things had gone badly by any chance. Luckily, it went perfectly and I'm home waiting to get my form letter. I don't think my recruit has been worried about Mom, I sure hope not! If I had that to do over again I would have had the surgery before he left to improve HIS stress level :)
Good to alert people about the invites for the PIR. I got married again in August, and my new husband was a little hurt that he wasn't listed in the four people my son could definitely invite. It was later explained that more could come, but they woud be admitted after the first choice (from the official paperwork ) were seated. The grandparents came, although only one was of the original list. It worked out fine.
I have been advocating a discussion the recruit should have with family members about this. It's especially important if the parents are divorced. Additionally, the recruit should let family know that information should be shared willingly and openly unless he states explicitly (in his letter) that what he writes should be kept confidential. You throw girlfriend/boyfriend into the mix and resentment, confusion, anger ......... best the handle the situation ahead of time before travel plans are made.
We had all kinds of discussions before my recruit left - He isn't inviting his father and father's GF because they refused to support his decision for the Navy - instead he is inviting myself, my husband and my parents. The day he left for BC I got a text from the ex about why I refused to let my son call his father before he left which I had no idea what he was talking about and gf had some choice words she posted on my 16 yr old sons FB. As it appears from my sons phone records (still under my plan so yes I checked) father never called our son, gf kept calling he never answered her calls but the moment she was done leaving a message he checked voice mail but never called back. He called me and a few other friends and texted a million people from the airports except his father. Knowing my son he was ticked because his father couldn't be bothered to call him. I now have son's addy at BC but I'm afraid to give it to father. I have sent letters to son asking if he wants me to. Waiting for response. Any insight on this situation? This is the one thing I hadn't thought of to ask beforehand. Sorry so lengthy. At this time I am thinking waiting for his response is the right thing to do? I hate this situation I know if I am wrong he will understand completely (been fun with his father) I'm more afraid if I'm right and I give it to father he won't! Son does have fathers address so I know he can write if he chooses as well.
You have done everything correctly. Your son is an adult, if he wants his father to have his address, he would've sent his father a letter and if he wanted his father & father's GF to be at PIR, he would've included them as his guests. This is your recruit's day. He has made his decision. Respect that. Do not bring up "Are you going to call your dad?" or "Do you know what your father's gf wrote on your brother's FB page?" Down play it. Your recruit has other things on his mind other than faulty family dynamics. It would be easy for you to be smugly satisfied with the rift between your ex and your recruit. Do not let the temptation to go there get the best of you. Your son is going to be a US - with hard work, he will have a good future. Keep the prize in mind.
P.S. Tell your 16 year old son to unfriend the GF. Honestly, why would a woman who is hoping to be a teenager's step mother want to be on his Facebook page?
OK I saw your statement information should be shared willingly and openly and I got a little worried. I have not told him anything about his father and GF and what was done the day he left. I will not ask if he is OK about any of that I DO NOT want to bring it up he definitely has enough to deal with at BC. I asked in one of his letters if there was anyone he wanted me to give his address to ie. youth pastor, his father, friends from HS. I figured that didn't sound like there was any issue just a curious question. After he is in A school if he would like to talk about such things then I will let him know. I wish I could be smug - instead I just feel heart broken for him. But I am so grateful that he had such great support from his recruiter and we have a very large family support system for him!!
As far as the 16 yr old goes - when we let him have a FB I told him I had complete access to it and if I ever felt necessary to block anyone I had that right - GF is now blocked!
Thanx for the feedback!!! Maybe I'll come back after he graduates and give an update for anyone in a similar situation. :O)
Don't mean "smug" in the normal sense. When your child does not get along with his birth father, it heart breaking for him definitely. Many moms feel the need to SHARE. My contention has always been sometimes it is more selfish to share. And some moms really like the drama. You do not seem like the type. If anything, he probably feel some sense of obligation to make it right for your recruit and his father - very admirable. I can see your recruit is lucky to have you, your husband and your parents in his corner. Enjoy your PIR if I don't get a chance to talk to you.
I only drop in periodically now because my lieutenant came home earlier this month for good. He finished his five year commitment to the Navy and is now interviewing for jobs. Hard to believe it has been 5 years. I am most thankful for the many friends I have made on this site. One friend, Abbyblue, even visited me in CA all the way from OK.
Take care. BQB
Oh I do have my I want to be smug moments LOL!! I am not perfect but i do not go through with that want - wouldn't be fair to the kiddos!! Thanx for your kind words!! Enjoy your time with your son!!! Take care!!
A POA can be written by anyone. You can probably go online and find one. Although, make sure you understand the difference between a general power of attorney and a limited power of attorney.
The tricky part will be, if your sailor is there and you are here, getting a notary public to witness will be mighty tricky.
Having to use a POA already with my son and the military I learned that you need the general POA to take care of all the basic things. Banking insurance, taxes. When it came to the medical I had to have 2 different forms. This was required. I had to have one that would allow the Navy to give me information about son's condition. EVERYTHING. He was in and out of surgeries for several weeks. I was also required to have the HIPPA form signed.
I was very lucky and had some wonderful people at the VA in Richmond and Navy Safe Harbor helping me.
If your loved one is banking at Navy Federal if your not on the account you best have a POA. They will make you fax it in and wait until the following day to call back before they will talk to you. You have to do this each time you call. A royal pain in the butt. But it was the way it worked. I was not able to use the general POA for the medical.
The Navy will draw up POA. They are free. But they are only good for one year. They will not make them longer.