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When I first learned that my son was going to join the Navy, I was happy and excited for him. This was his big stretch out, spreading the wings and soaring. At least try to soar.  I did none of  the research, I made none of the decisions. I let him lead the way, completely.  He called and we talked a few times when he wasn't sure of the next step in the path.  I offered options and suggestions and left it at that.  He made all of the decisions, he OWNED them. I supported him.

There is a time in our children's lives that we need to step back and let them take the lead. It doesn't matter what the outcome is pass or fail. What matters is the learning from the victories and the losses. If we hold their hands every step of the way, even into adulthood, they will never learn to fly let alone soar. Standing back and watching your Son or Daughter navigate on their own is probably one of the hardest things you will ever do as a Parent. It's also one of the most necessary things you will do.

Take heart Moms and Dads, your Son is a man now, your Daughter a woman. Let them grow in that, just as we did and the many before us.

My Son, who grew into a Man will become a Sailor on June 1st. I am so proud of him, and I know he will be very proud to wear that uniform.  He did it all on his own, from running with the desire, to making his way through bootcamp.

Proud indeed!


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Polarizeme; VERY well said! I did the exact same thing, and it was one of the hardest things I have had to do as a parent. My son joined totally on his own, and he thrived and grew while in bc. He PIR'd one year ago and the pride I feel is the same today as it was last year.

The Navy does a VERY good job with our kids in the 8-9 weeks they have them. Parent's; believe in your child, believe in the process, and believe in yourselves. The outcome is absolutely amazing!

ebigirl, thank you!

I see so many parents struggle with that "time to let go".  It IS hard, but it is our parental duty to make sure these children become responsible adults!

Congratulations on a job well done!!!

I couldn't agree with you more. Congratulations to you also. Have a wonderful Mother's Day!  :-)

Yes, yes, yes! When it's their decision they learn the best!
Thank you for the thoughts, I can't wait to see my son at PIR

This is beautiful...hope the Admins of this site make it a "Featured Discussion"

Beautifully expressed.  You're right, standing back and watching them fall or fly is the toughest thing a parent can do when our natural parental instinct is to cushion the fall or push them to soar.


We cheer when they succeed and we grieve when they fail as we will always be the parents and that's just what we do.



TN Navy Mom, just wanted to thank you for dropping in. I have seen your participation from time to time. It would be great to have moms like you, ebigirl, Nutmegmom and Polarizeme take charge - my sailor is home now. A number of others have sailor who are leaving soon.  We love this site and hope to see it continue for a long time.

Hi, Jessica - how are you these - you take such great care of the newbies.  Do you still want to learn how to set up links to text?

Bunker...YES!!!!! Thank you and Ditto.

Private N4M message me with your phone number - I have misplaced it. I'll call you when I get a chance and I'll walk you thru it. Probably next month. This month has been crazy.

Thanks QB...your shoes are going to be very hard to fill. I will do my best to continue to encourage new mom's (parents) try to let go, although I know just how hard it is. I was with my Seabee for much of the day today. He is such a great kid!! :-)

Yes, I would love to help. Being a parent is hard! especially when your kids are so independent!!!


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