Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Michael on May 9, 2016 at 12:24pm

I am moving with my spouse either when he comes back after 6 months from deploying I when they have a home for us since the waiting period is 6 months also. I refuse to live in a hotel with our child. So we will wait at our home until one of the two happen. Also at home I have support from our family too.

Permalink Reply by thinNavyblueline on May 9, 2016 at 12:29pm

I can understand that! As of right now it's just my sailor and I. It would be easy for me to move in a little under a year, and I'd like to, just trying to hear both sides! Thanks for your input! (:

Permalink Reply by Anti M on May 9, 2016 at 1:25pm

Well, base housing is not always on base!  And you can rent with your BAH.  Housing is easier because everything is done via direct deposit, no worries about checks or money transfers or utilities.  They budget for you!  

Having time to find yourself and develop your interests is important, but so is couple building and bonding.  Each couple is different in what balance is best for them.  Always have some time, space, and money, just for you.  It is not betraying a loved one to do so, to me it is investing in yourself to be a better life partner.  

Have you lived independently yet?  

Permalink Reply by thinNavyblueline on May 9, 2016 at 1:28pm

Due to my financial situation I've never lived completely on my own, but I rent rooms and live as an independent if that makes sense! I completely agree with what you said, I'm slightly afraid of the backlash I may get but I just think it would be better for us. I'm not really enjoying the traditional college environment and have been looking at transferring for a while, just a matter of when. 

Permalink Reply by abuon18 on May 9, 2016 at 1:44pm

This is a really personal decision that encompasses a lot of factors. When my husband and I got married and lived together, we were a little older and had both lived on our own, worked full time jobs, paid bills, etc. If we were younger, in college for example, I don't know if I would have wanted to shorten my college years to move wither him because they were really formative and fun. For us, it was the right time in our lives and our relationship. I've never regretted it. We have been friends with a couple (unmarried) for 5 years who have been together since before he joined the Navy. They still live apart because she is in school (just got accepted to grad school) and while the distance has been tough, they have made it work through 2 years of his training on the west coast (she lives on the east coast) and a deployment. It works for them because she is taking the time to do what she needs to do for herself. So the situation is unique for everyone and ultimately you guys need to determine what will work best for you and your relationship.

Permalink Reply by thinNavyblueline on May 9, 2016 at 1:50pm

Thank you for your opinion! I see that it's different for each couple, but I think that almost helps me realize that I just need to do what's best for myself, not what is best for others or what others think is best for me. I appreciate your input!!!

Permalink Reply by abuon18 on May 9, 2016 at 9:34pm

You're welcome! Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Permalink Reply by Allison on June 16, 2016 at 10:35am

I know I'm super late on this, but I saw this, and I just moved to GL to be with my husband. Like abuon18 said, it's different for everyone, and my expectations were a lot different than the reality I'm experiencing now. I knew he was going to be busy, but part of the reason we decided to move me out right away was because we thought we'd get more time together and it'd be easier to get things settled. In reality, I've done just about everything by myself because my husband just doesn't have time. Fortunately, I don't mind this lifestyle, and our relationship has dealt with much more dramatic schedule differences and longer periods of separation than we expect from his career path with the Navy. Although it's different, I don't regret our decision, and I am much happier being here and getting to at least have dinner with my husband than trying to schedule a time to FaceTime, and even though we will go back to that lifestyle the first time he deploys (living apart, different schedules, little time to talk), at least I am slowly building a network of resources and people that are experienced with the Navy and can help me. I don't know how it is elsewhere, but GL is definitely a village. I think the first couple days were the hardest, but now I've learned a little about who to call and where to go, I don't think I'll feel as lost when my husband and I move again in January(ish). All of that said, I don't know if I would feel differently had my husband and I not lived like this before, back when we were only dating. You definitely have to be comfortable with yourself before you move because even if he's not going anywhere for six months like my sailor, you're still going to spend a lot of time with you. I'm looking to get back to my job in a week or two, but even with that I can plan on at least one me night every four days because of my husband's duty schedule.

Permalink Reply by thinNavyblueline on June 16, 2016 at 10:44am

Thank you so much for your reply! Many people just keep saying it will still be difficult and he will still be busy, which I understand. However after his bad room mate experience I would love to be able to help him with house things while he does his work/school. I'm already pretty familiar with moving, I had a very small move about six months ago and I just had a much larger move last week. I just don't think I could look back years from now and be happy with myself if I knew I could have lived with him earlier and just chose not to. Although it's a lot of work for you, I'm very glad that you are starting to settle in! I haven't heard much about GL outside of bootcamp information but it sounds very nice from how you describe. I wish you all the best with your remaining months there and upcoming move!