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Events

**UPDATE 4/26/2022** Effective with the May 6, 2022 PIR 4 guests will be allowed.  Still must be fully vaccinated to attend.

**UPDATE as of 11/10/2022 PIR vaccination is no longer required.

**UPDATE 7/29/2021** You now must be fully vaccinated in order to attend PIR:

In light of observed changes and impact of the Coronavirus Delta Variant and out of an abundance of caution for our recruits, Sailors, staff, and guests, Recruit Training Command is restricting Pass-in-Review (recruit graduation) to ONLY fully immunized guests (14-days post final COVID vaccination dose).  

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**UPDATE 8/25/2022 - MASK MANDATE IS LIFTED.  Vaccinations still required.

**UPDATE 11/10/22 PIR - Vaccinations no longer required.

RESUMING LIVE PIR - 8/13/2021

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My man is on ship duty, home port in Virginia and I'm in Southern California. We are planning to have a little courthouse thing to sign papers and get married in a few months, but I would like to have a ceremony next summer with all of our friends and family. Now I'm just wondering if that is even possible! I can't set a date, not even a tentative one, he is so busy and doesn't have time to send me a guest list for his friends and family. So I can't book a venue with no date, and with no venue I don't know which decorations to work on or anything and everyone I talk to says I need to planning this stuff NOW if I want it by next summer.... Idk it's all just really stressful and a little disappointing. I'm not one of those people that just want a wedding and not really a marriage. I want to be married to my sailor, but I also want to have all of those memories from a wedding with him and with our families together. 

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Replies to This Discussion

Unfortunately, no sailor knows when leave will be granted that far in advance.  HIs leave hinges on the ship's operational schedule, and that changes as the world events change.  He should know how far in advance he would be allowed to request leave (usually two weeks to one month in advance, no more).  They often get a couple weeks after a deployment, but deployments get extended.  I am sorry, it is not an easy thing to deal with.  I wish I had better news.

You can have a beautiful ceremony, but you cannot plan it the traditional way.  You must find flexible venues, and vendors who are willing to work with short notice military couples, and who have a military clause so deposits are refundable (and military discounts, but make sure they;re actually a good deal).  Look into unconventional venues.   Look into "steal my wedding" where you can take over weddings bookings which have cancelled.  There are some terrific blogs on planning last minute weddings.  If you have bridesmaids, look at alternatives to pre-ordering matching dresses, just give them a color range, length, and guidelines, and have them be unique.  Caterers?  Don't ell the it is a wedding, they'll be quicker and cheaper (or look at creating hot food "bars" instead of seated dining).  Food trucks are hot now.  

Be as creative as you can with flexibility in mind.  Break out of the wedding show mold!  Also, look into "wedding insurance".

Yes, some family may miss it if they need to fly in, but that is unavoidable.  Find ways to livestream it, or Skype it.  

Planning a wedding is tough but not impossible. Lots of military couples have made it work!

Like Anti M said you HAVE to stay flexible. You have to realize now you may not be able to do things exactly "traditionally". Look into "off season" dates for where you want to get married - for example I know you said you wanted to have the wedding next summer but if that is the busy wedding season venues, caterers, etc. will book up much faster, whereas the "off season" -maybe fall or winter - will have availability closer to your wedding date so you don't have to no
Whoops! Sorry about that. Typing on my phone & sent it too soon!

Anyway what I was saying was if you wait for the off season to get married you typically can contract the venue closer to the due.

A lot of couples choose to have their weddings at their parent's house, which is helpful if/when you need to change your date! That could be something to consider if you or your fiancé have a family property large enough to hold all of your guests.

In the end, no one remembers the decorations and centerpieces, or whether the flowers were silk or fresh, fancy or plain.    Almost everyone throws away the invitations except you and the moms.   

What people remember is the food, was the cake tasty, and was there enough (free) booze?  Were there bottles of water and punch for the non-drinkers?  Was there music and dancing?  Was it a fun party, somewhere easy to find, and easy to park and accessible for the older folks?   If you nail that, you have it down perfectly.  

I got married in Vegas, but these days I want a party with a fajita bar and an ice cream bar.  Booze on the tables and tons of mixers.  And fire spinners.  I do fuels for a fire conclave, and if I ever held a formal event, I'd have my friends up on stilts, spinning fire.  

It IS possible, but only very slightly so.

We planned our wedding while he was deployed, which was very rough. I hated having to make all the decisions without him. But, the time immediately after a deployment is your best bet for a wedding, aside from shore duty or a drydock period. Long story short, he was deployed for 6 months and then 1 month after getting back, he took his post-deployment leave and flew home and we got a wonderful wedding with 75 of our favorite people (we planned it in 6 months - tough, but we got it done. Usually people take 1-1.5 years though).

But, those months were some of the most stressful of my life. I was constantly worrying about what would happen if his deployment got extended or if his leave wasn't granted. They can turn down a leave chit without much of a reason, so we were really worried about that too. We would have been out a lot of money because almost nothing was refundable, including the venue and food. There were rumors abound for a few months that the deployment was getting extended two months and let's just say that I was constantly having mini meltdowns. 

If you have no idea where your Sailor will be this time next year, do NOT start planning it. He SHOULD hopefully have some kind of tentative schedule. We recently received a schedule for the next two years and barring an emergency or something of the like, it will stay relatively the same. Unless of course he's on a sub, and then disregard all of that because subs are even harder when it comes to trying to plan anything. 

If you are able to start planning, only go with venues that would refund your money. The venue we picked was perfect and we loved it so much, but they were a huge pain. They actually created a military policy because of us...except it wasn't even useful. Their new "policy" only made refunds okay if you cancelled at least six months before the wedding due to deployment. So yeah, that wasn't great. Save yourself a boatload of stress and don't book unless you can get it in WRITING that they will refund you at any time. Also, do not invite a ton of people. Give up the idea of having a 200 person wedding if that's what you're hoping for. We just had our closest friends and family, about 75, people that would be easily flexible and wouldn't mind if the date changed and would show up no matter when our wedding was. 

Another thing...he is NOT too busy to send you a guest list. If that's what he's saying, what he means is "it doesn't have enough priority for me to make time for it." Trust me, if my husband could take the time to look at pictures and email me opinions and other help while on the other side of the world and working 24/7, your fiance can do it now. I'm sure he is very busy, but he is not so overwhelmed that he literally cannot help you at all.

Take a breath and sign up for TheKnot.com. You can pick out dresses and suits/tucks, find tenative venues/florists/djs/caterers/etc., come up with a theme and ideas for the cake and menu, and a bunch of other stuff without ever setting anything in stone. That will at least give you something to start with. I bought a dress first and then got myself a venue and planned our theme and decorations around it. The venue was the hardest part, it was all easy from there once I had worked out a coordinating theme!

Long story short, again haha, is that you CAN do it... but you have to be flexible. It might not be next summer. It probably will not take place at what you consider to be an ideal time. But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if your wedding is in June or December or what your venue looked like. People really do remember the food, cake, and music/dancing the most. And you will remember how you felt more than anything else. That's what matters the most. Regardless of all the individual details, the goal and the end result is still the same: celebrating your new marriage with your favorite people in the world.

Yes, be flexible. Also, check with whomever you book anything with that they will either give you a refund or roll your credit into something else. A lot of places will help you if things fall through becuase of military related issues and have some sort of special cancelation policy for military. All of our planning fell through because my husband got emergency deployed. However, all of the venues, the caterers, the dj and the bakery all worked with me to get my money back (even deposits) and cancel with no penalties. Just check before you book anything that they have those policies in place.

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