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Comment by J's Wife on December 9, 2013 at 12:12pm

There is an actual chit the students are supposed to fill out and get approved in order to get married. We've seen students get everything from captains mast, the month or so without pay and month or so on duty, or just a slap on the wrist. Just depends. Plus, it really frustrates the people who follow the proper procedures (including superiors) when students get away with doing things their own way. As for putting in the paperwork, because you've already gotten married- he would have to take your social sec card, birth cert, and marriage license to customer service (the building accross from the student nex). They'll take care of most of it if I'm not mistaken, maybe send him a couple other places. Then, you'll have to be with him to get your ID card. They're only open from like 730-1500, so he'll probably have to go on his lunch hour.

I'm not trying to be rude, either. I just wouldn't be surprised if a portion of his liberty (and the rest of his ships liberty) is taken away. I decided to move to GL on my own while my husband was there and he was not able to live with me (which we expected)- but there were many a week that we didn't get to see him at all because his shipmates were breaking the rules. Moving forward- he has no proof of having asked anyone if there isn't an approved chit in his hand.

That being said- Congratulations on getting married and welcome to the Navy family. School is a very weird 'walk-egg-shells' period of their time in the Navy- it will get better. Also, encourage your husband to get your marriage paperwork in as soon as possible- if his orders haven't been drawn up yet, there's a chance you could be on his orders and the move would be paid for when he moves on to his next command. (It would just make things a lot easier.)

Comment by marisac14/032 on December 9, 2013 at 11:55am

Thank you Anti M and yes we made 100% sure. his CO Asked everyone first who was getting married that weekend he told them they were allowed but i told him to make sure in A school that he was permitted to because i hear that they can get set back a phase or have other punishments but he said that they said it was okay. they gave them a few rules about what they couldnt do like go further than 50 miles and havin to wear uniform at all time, etc. but they didnt give them a breifing until later that night ... I asked him about the papers too stating that he couldnt marry that weekend because i read about it on here but he said they were not given those papers to sign ... But yes we made sure 100% that it was okay ... I dont know if it is different because he is undesignated ? And his A school is not long, im not sure what it may have been that he was told that it was permitted ... But no i do not plan on staying here he will be done by january and then leaves to base so hopefully within a few months i can go with him. Im not really waiting on them to move me i just wantto plan ahead an look for a job and apt, etc before i move. But thank you again for the information !

Comment by Anti M on December 9, 2013 at 10:42am

I'm not trying to be mean, I just know that the few who break the rules take away privileges for everyone in the long run.  Great Lakes used to have unlimited liberty on PIR weekend, now they have a curfew each night... because some broke the rules, everyone lost a privilege.  It frustrates me when people take it so lightly.

 And the CO?  You sure it wasn't just his RDC?  

Comment by Anti M on December 9, 2013 at 10:36am

Which school at Great Lakes?  Some are very strict, about the rules.  What was said at RTC does not govern their liberty time that weekend, they have checked out.  TSC (school side) is a different command ... and they make them sign a paper saying they will obey the liberty rules, one of which is do not get married.  Doing so when told not to?  No, not cool.  

Good luck. 

What next?  He enrolls you in DEERS, and Tricare, and you get the form to get your ID card.  If he can get time off.  Are you planning on just staying there?  He can't live with you right away.  He has to earn his liberty privileges, and then, if his school is longer than six months, he can apply to Live Ashore with you.  Many schools are not long enough, they;re supposed to be six months or more for that (usually just AECF).  

Comment by marisac14/032 on December 9, 2013 at 12:47am

Hi i was hoping i can get some information on what steps to take next after getting married. My SR Graduated this weekend and i saw a lot on here that you are not allowed to marry and what not the weekend of PIR but it is not always the case. His A school is in great lakes, his commander in RTC told them it was completely allowed because it is their liberty time ... I had him ask in A school as well and they were 100% okay with it. When we went to the court house there were 3 other military couples getting married as wel it was pretty cool!! On monday he will go in and speak to somebody on what he should do next but i was hoping i can also get some info from anyone here too !

Comment by Anti M on December 6, 2013 at 10:49am

EmCHammer... congratulations to him!  That is quite an accomplishment!

Comment by Navywife1026 on December 5, 2013 at 10:30pm

Hey Ladies! I am sure some of you are planning the wedding of your dreams to you sailors, and I just wanted to throw it out there that I have a Vera Wang wedding gown for sale. Its style vw351011. I know how expensive weddings can become and I would love to past this dress on especially to another military bride.I am asking $600 which includes the slip and the gown its size 14 fits size 12/14. Message if you are interested :) Thank you! 

Comment by Jenn_NicksWifey on December 5, 2013 at 6:26pm

FWIW, one of the guys who shipped out with my hubby is a nuke.  We (my hubby and I and he and his wife) were all from the same town, so I chatted with his wife a lot.  He (her hubby) flew out the day of PIR for nuke school, was there a week and then was sent back to get her and their HHGs.  I'm not 100% positive about the airfare, but the leave was non-charged and of course they got their hhgs paid for, as they were married before he enlisted.

Comment by Anti M on December 5, 2013 at 1:48pm

Angie, nuke school does do a go get your spouse thing.  I even know of cases where they send the sailor back to get married over a long weekend and bring back the new spouse.  Pretty sure the Navy doesn't pay for that, don't know if they're still authorizing it, but I do know of it happening in the past.  It is the reason several Great Lakes spouses were very confused a few years back, because nuke spouses were telling how it went for them when it didn't apply to any other training command.

Comment by J's Wife on December 5, 2013 at 1:12pm

I am not normally one to complain, but I am so frustrated right now. My husband and I are finally getting settled in to his new command. I just received a call back from a prospective employer and am very excited. My dilemma- it is like pulling teeth around here to try to use the military childcare. The woman who is supposed to be in charge of placing our daughter somewhere seems to have never heard of customer service and is very unhelpful. I absolutely hate when companies choose to give consumers only one choice of who to deal with and then don't monitor the way that person chooses to treat clients. The childcare centers are full, not her fault. However, she sent me a list of home care providers with a bunch of information on it that I couldn't comprehend. I called the people on the list and the 50% who answered were full; I had to leave messages for the other 50%. I called her back to ask what the information I couldn't comprehend was and she told me not to worry about it, that information is for them, not parents- why send it to me then? Also, she told me she can't refer me to NACRA until the 50% I left messages for call me back. So, she would like me to tell my potential employer that even though I'm a very proactive employee, she's not, so they'll have to wait. Why does she have a list of childcare providers without knowing whether or not they're full? This is madness! Great Lakes was not like this at all. They were AMAZING in comparison. If there really is nothing she can do yet, she should have been polite and empathetic about it. And if she's too busy to manage her job, then maybe they should hire a second person and send her back to the customer service class the MWR offers. (Sorry for the long rant.) Does anyone else have this issue?

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