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I've passed (sort of) missing him, now I worry...

I specifically joined this group on a day that I had a breakdown. My son is deployed but not for too long, but longer than ever before. There are so many negative shipmates that are in his ear. Although I keep reminding him how many plans he had in the Navy, how many dreams for his future he had, he over rules me with his own negativity. I'm worried. I encourage him and send scriptures and try to inspire him. I remind him to stay clear of negative people an he agrees. He is bigger than this, he always has been the one that picks up the under dog and befriends the friendless. I'm sure there is alot of cabin fever going on, my question is how much is too much for me to do? I want to force him to stay home on a weekend off, he wants to drive endlessly and be alone for a minute. Which one of us is right? My gut says make my baby stay, be his mommy and do for him. Remind him home is always home. Am I wrong? Should I just let go and let be? 

Views: 138

Comment by Coach Shelia on June 2, 2014 at 6:24am
Hello Carrieml3! I always start by sending prayers and well wishes your way today and forever to everyone I meet on here!! You never let go...you just stay in prayers. It's hard because we've spent all these years preparing them to go out into this world, and it's a natural instinct for us to protect them. We never want them to experience disappointment. I'm always in prayers and have had to not hover. From Seaman Recruit to Sailor, from Boys to Men and realize that my son is growing up while learning to be a Sailor! I tell my son constantly..."Stay focused,patient and positive"! Don't worry your son knows you are there for him. We just need them to communicate it.Take care of yourself and always know that you and he have more people in the Navy Family that care, support and understand how you're feeling!
Comment by Monkeymom on June 2, 2014 at 12:21pm

You said every single word I needed to hear. Often as moms we question whether we are doing the right thing. I know I am, but this new feeling of helplessness is very hard to get used to. So again I say Thank you and God Bless you and all of the kind encouraging words you give. 

Comment by Cori [paul's wife] on June 5, 2014 at 2:54am

As a service member myself, I would encourage him to talk to other service members. and PLEASE mommas... take NO OFFENSE to that. I do not talk to my mom about things from deployments merely just because I would hate her to worry about things that she does not understand. There are some emotions and feelings that we cannot describe or explain to people who are not in the service, and this is not a dig at those people. When I recevied orders to be stationed in Germany, I was terrified and upset that I might get "replaced" in my friends groups at home.  This feeling... when I tried to explain it to my parents.... made them upset/angry I would feel this way. but other members in my unit here... they just COMPLETELY understood and were supportive.  If your son has emotions and negativity, I would encourage him to hang out with those who are more positive in nature.  We utilize the weekends to blow off steam, just make sure its a healthy way of doing so. 

 

I hope this helps...

Comment by Monkeymom on June 5, 2014 at 11:44am

Thank you Cori. I do encourage him to find positive people. It is something I constantly remind him of. You are right, I want to help him, but hearing about it and seeing him hurt even an ounce, even if unwarranted hurts me and makes it hard for me not to want to cry everyday. I will back off from wanting to hide him under my wings, I will always want to protect him, but I know it is his time to find who he is in this big old world. Thank you for your kind words! 

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