Comment by Sailorswife2716 on September 28, 2014 at 1:29pm

I will also add that my mother in law really didn't want to see her baby boy be away, but she is so proud of my husband and what he is accomplishing and what great things she knows he's going to accomplish. And we both have his parents complete support :). I have no doubt that everything will be fine for you, especially for your son!

Comment by BunkerQB on September 28, 2014 at 2:41pm

Sailorswife2716,

What a treasure you must be for your mother-in-law!  My former sailor married a lovely gal and is very happy. I am forever on the lookout for a nice gal for my adventuresome younger son. If you have an unattached younger sister, cousin (preferably a clone of YOU), please hit me up with a friend request. I'd be happy to fund their trip(s) to North Dakota, where he is working. DO NOT laugh. I am serious.

Please stick around. Senior citizens like me are always appreciative of different perspectives. BQB.

Comment by BunkerQB on September 28, 2014 at 2:43pm

Sailorswfie2716, I just peeked at your profile. You are from SoCal. That works since we are in North Cal. :) 

Comment by Sailorswife2716 on September 28, 2014 at 6:24pm

BQB- you are so sweet! I have a 15 year old sister (who can be like me at times haha), and a lot of cousins who are unfortunately not like me (as far as how I am with my relationship) haha. I am definitely not perfect, but I've been with my husband since high school, he's my first love. I am almost 25 now and my husband is 26 and we have a almost 2 year old. Together for 8.5 years and married almost 1 year, things haven't always been easy, and I'm sure during our new adventure as a military family we may have some hard times. I value my mother in law because thanks to her and my father in law, my husband has learned to be a wonderful husband and father. What's nice is she also values me as a daughter and respects I am my husbands wife and my sons mother. I'm glad your former sailor married a nice woman, I hope your younger son finds himself a great woman too, one who will be his biggest fan and really makes him happy, and also values you as his mom :).

Comment by ProudMomHappy on September 29, 2014 at 4:05pm

Denise:  Prayers & Hugs to your family.  I don't know the words to say because I have never experienced such a lost I don't even know how you must be feeling.  I hope you have a good support network that will help you along this path of grief.

To everyone else... Thank you for the words of support.  It has really helped.  I have moved to unhappy to this is happening and I am being as supportive as I can.  I haven't been on the site much this past weekend because there is so much to do.  I am putting a party together for him and just trying to get everything tided up before he leaves.  This change in attitude I have all these posts to thank.  I have been able to express how I feel and just being able to have an outlet has helped.  Thank you to everyone.   

  

Comment by BunkerQB on September 29, 2014 at 4:59pm

Good to hear you are doing better.

If you haven't, you should go thru the following discussion. Join the Depper group (for the month your son is leaving), the Boot Camp Moms group and when you get his form letter, the PIR group associated with his PIR date.

Be sure to watch the videos that will take you from the Processing Days thru PIR.  The Survival Guide will have other links important for you to bookmarked, such as the link to the Recruit Training Command.  Questions just ask. Take care.

Survival Guide for NavyForMoms Newbies   (click here)

Comment by Coach Shelia on September 30, 2014 at 9:56am

So glad to hear your feeling better! I downloaded a final countdown app on my cell phone the day my son left for the MEPS with his recruiter. I remember looking back at him getting in the car, and knew our family changed forever. My The app has helped me deal with missing him, and looking forward to every chance we have had to spend together! Anyone who has known me here on this website...knows how proud I am of our son! NotHappy, the further you travel on this journey with your son, you'll make friends along the way, and buy so many Proud Navy Mom t-shirts! I appreciate you sharing your feelings. Take care and have a fabulous day! Go Navy! HOOYAH!

Comment by BunkerQB on September 30, 2014 at 1:19pm

To new moms, many of us who have been here for 4+ years are "retiring"/pulling back or have retired. There are many organizational groups/discussions in placed, so the wheels don't have to be reinvented.  I am here mostly to update the discussions I started (such as the Survival Guide, the list of PIR Groups) and administer my local San Fran group. I post when I feel I can contribute. On the finer points of "how to", "what is this or that" and "when & where" I defer to lemonelephant, AntiM and others who has worked tirelessly in getting info to newcomers. Additionally the ladies who run the PIR groups have been invaluable to this site. Furthermore, old-timers like Denise Seabee Mom, judy r, Coach Sheila, Craig, CryptoDad have been stalwarts in keeping this site active (some more visible than others). 
NONE are paid administrators/managers. Our contributions are from our hearts and because we care about the sailors.  I encourage all newcomers to participate, learn something you can pass along, post a supportive comment here and there and just drop in to let everyone know how your sailor is doing.  Pay it forward and keep it going.

With my local group, we get together for meet and greets 3-4 times a year - I now have a group of great friends locally to share sailor news and life-after-the-Navy news.

Warm regards, BQB.

Comment by Patti (7/174) on October 1, 2014 at 12:29pm

When my daughter stated she was joining the Air Force, I was thrilled. She wound up joining the Navy instead, again...I was thrilled. Her father was a Marine and yes, they are a different breed totally. I raised my 3 kids after we separated, and they were better off for it. I learned that all she wanted was my support. When I didn't give it to her for whatever reason, she got mad. Kids just want to know that we are behind them, no matter what. She LOVED basic training. She wound up getting a hairline fracture in her hip, and because she kept running, it went down into her leg. She didn't tell them until after she passed her last PT. That's how much she loved it. She wanted no excuses to get in the way.

Believe me when I say that kids can definitely turn on you when you least expect it. Her dad was proud she was going in, but didn't keep up contact with her. They now have a strained relationship. 

Putting in my 2c after she got in and aboard a ship, about what she planned on doing with her pay, her future, etc could have gone very badly as she needs constant support. But she is a smart one. She bought a car and has been making payments for a year (helped her establish credit). She has 1 credit card and the payments come out of her paycheck, again establishing credit. She was coming up with ridiculous job ideas of things she may want to do when she got out of the Navy, which is coming up soon. We tried to show her how unhappy SHE would be, because she is terribly physical, can leg press over 700 lbs...she would not be happy in some of her fantasy jobs she kept coming up with. The girl needed a job that would capitalize in her physicality. I kept suggesting over and over, either police or fire. She chose fire. I couldn't be more proud. She will get to do a job she already loves since the first day she did it at Great Lakes, and it will live up to her standards. To work hard, and people around you work the same way. Something MANY people in the service definitely DO NO DO. 

Yes, you have a right to be unhappy, but I think you are unhappy for the wrong reasons. Your son can go to college when he is in the service. Many of his credits will transfer and he will have lost very little. Be a proud momma, you raised him right. 

Comment by anasazigypsy on October 2, 2014 at 3:08am

I ran across some comments that were off topic somewhere on this site that discussed how parents were afraid that those traits they loved best about their child would be lost. I think this is why I am conflicted about my SR's decision to join. I love the him he is now, and I don't want him to lose the gentle warm humorous side of him that I treasure. I fear it may happen, but this is what he chose, and I hope he never loses who he is, but if he does I will love the person he becomes too. He wants  this life experience and I am glad he will see more than his home state before he settles into whatever life he chooses for himself.

What I am angry about is that after so many years of "civilization" we still need a military. Why do so many lives have to be put in danger because one country or another wants some extra land, don't like each others religion, or can't accept differences in the way others choose to live their lives? I dislike the military and the need for it at the same time I support the individuals that make up the military. As my protest, I am making a peace symbol out of herbs in my front yard :) Wouldn't a peace time military be nice to have again?

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