Comment

Comment by NavyBrat on October 25, 2014 at 2:46pm

BunkerQB, be honest, many of our military traditions are the product of 16th century England. Sure we've been updating them but we've got a long way to go still.

I'm proud of these mothers and their sons and daughters and regard them as family now, just like I regard Army, Air force, and Marine Corps moms, dads, brothers, sisters, soldiers, airmen, and corpsmen as family. You and Angie too. But the way it works is you have joined the thread now because you are worried, now.

Comment by NavyBrat on October 25, 2014 at 2:32pm

BunkerQB, it is important for the moms to stay positive and even more important for their their sons and daughters to remain positive. However, it is important for to me not to promote the official navy position. Be honest, you accuse me of being negative just as their sons and daughters will be accused of being negative. As a CEO I write contracts and legal briefs myself.

Comment by MyLAS (My Lips are SEALed) on October 25, 2014 at 7:40am

Michael's mom, you may be right.  As most of us know already, our sailors are not always given accurate information.  My sailor did say that if he had not been picked up in May, he would have been discharged OR given a change of orders (that's really what we were hoping for - something he could use his degree, smarts, drive, etc for).  Anyway... I asked him more about it last night. He said his new command officer told him this but wasn't surprised at all that he hadn't been given the entire pricture

Comment by BunkerQB on October 25, 2014 at 4:37am

NEED FOR AN ADMIN (S).

I would leave the name of the group but I add a description which would appear right underneath like "It's OK. It's not forever."  or ???  It appears to me that Sheila Clark the creator of the group is no longer active. My apologies if not true. One of you moms could step up and request to be appointed as an admin of this group. Send a message to the Navy For Moms Admin.  The admin (or admins) of a group can change the group name (but not the internet address), the description or the status (make it private or public). The admin could also revise the discussion parameters. Edit to the INFORMATION part. Add PAGES. The admin could suspend a member from this group or unsuspend a member. ONLY THE CREATOR CAN DO THE FOLLOWING TWO ITEMS: DELETE THIS GROUP OR DELETE COMMENTS POSTED BY ANOTHER MEMBER.

When my son joined the Navy, Navy For Moms did not exist. I worried and suffered all by myself. It was lonely. I am glad this site is here for you to connect with each other. My son finished his commitment two years ago. Through this site, I have made wonderful friends, many with whom I get together on a regular basis. We are from every walk of life - bonded together by our love of our sailors and concern for their safety and now genuine affection for each other.

Often, a person who is trying to be helpful will come across being negative and high handed.  I have been accused of this a number of times in the past. I have learned to be more supportive in offering advice and suggestions and be cognizant that many moms need support first and foremost. I have read everyone's comments and reread the "negative" comments several times which I think contain some real good and useful information (in all fairness to this member). Please don't hesitate to ask. I will gladly help whenever I can.

Comment by BunkerQB on October 25, 2014 at 4:17am

Hello Everyone,  I happened to come upon this group and have been following the comments posted.

1.  It doesn't matter if he/she is UNDESIGNATED for a while. It won't be forever. We as parents have gotten too involved with the "comparison shopping" mentality. We get nervous if our child is not at the same level as another.  We then lose sight of what we have right in front of us - a real young man or woman who may be very very green around the gills, who might not have any clue as to what he wants to do, who might change his mind a million times, who might fall behind and let opportunities slip by but by the very fact he has joined the Navy is trying to explore what is out there, to gain some independence, to earn money, to be his own person. This is your child. Give him the gift of knowing that your love is not conditional on his achievements. It sounds easy - but it is not. Especially when you encountered people who are nattering nabobs of negativity.  The kids will make it. Stay positive. Stay supportive of your child and of each other. Enjoy your time with them.

2.  Real case scenario. I know a young man who joined the Navy right out of high school. He scored well but rates for which he was qualified were not available. His recruiter suggested that he wait for something to come up. His girl friend had just shipped out to BC. He didn't want to go to a local junior college. He hadn't applied to any 4 year college. He was in fact seriously floundering. He jumped at the chance to go undesignated. His mother couldn't figure out what to make of it. This young man passed BC and was sent to Japan (to chip paint and clean). Fast forward 6 months. We saw him at Christmas. He was happy. Painting and cleaning was not fun but he survived. He had matured and grown and started to develop ideas of what he wanted to specialize in.  It turns out he was good with languages. He worked and studied and got the Intel rating he wanted and was on his way to the Language school in Monterey.

3.   Every child is different. Some chart a path and reach their goals without breaking a sweat. My older son is like that. Once he sets a goal, it's as good as accomplished. His younger brother is equally intelligent and talented but likes to meander here and there. He does not like being told what to do and when to do it. It will take 10 years for him to reach the same financial level his brother reached at 28. It took me a while (in fact a long time and with many painful episodes) to "get" this kid. I now have no doubt that he will be successful in whatever he wants to do. Allow your child to be himself who he wants to be.

Comment by kim on October 25, 2014 at 1:42am

Great idea Vickie360

Comment by Vickie360 on October 25, 2014 at 1:10am

I am so glad people have started being positive. I think part Of the problem is the name of the group. Can it be changed to "Proud Mamas of PACT"
Or maybe just start a brand new group.

Comment by Majorityrulz on October 24, 2014 at 8:36pm

Undesignated. My phone is being dumb

Comment by Majorityrulz on October 24, 2014 at 8:34pm

I haven't posted in a while as my son just finished his first year. When I first saw thus group it was because one of his shipmates mom asked me as her son was in designated. So I asked my dad who served 30 years. He did in designated. It is what you make it he said. He did 30 years and retired as a Commander. Just keep supporting your sailors and they too can become a great sailor!

Comment by kim on October 24, 2014 at 7:59pm

thank you all so much for speaking up and being so positive. When I found out my son was going undesignated as an AN Pact I was fine with it... Until I got on here and read all the negativity about it. Needless to say it freaked me out and because of that I think I freaked out my son too. We had him go through filling out a dar to get out of it but it never got granted and he went off to boot camp as undesignated. He will graduate from boot camp November 21st and will go on to Pensacola with a wonderful group of sailor recruits that are also undesignated.I feel so bad now that I caused him stress over the job he chose because I bought in to all the negative things I read about. He is doing great at boot camp and I know he will do great in whatever he puts his mind to. Again thank you to all of you who have spoken up against the negativity on this group. Hopefully now we can be a group that support each other and helps each other as needed

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