Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by ts0607 on April 1, 2015 at 7:40pm

He will be able to call after a couple weeks. It does get easier! You can write as Much as you want! My boyfriend loved all my letters. It's what got him through.just stay as busy as possible. Cuddle with his clothes and blankets and make sure you remind him how much you love him . bc it is emotionally hard for them. Just stay strong you guys can do it :)

Permalink Reply by ts0607 on April 1, 2015 at 7:41pm

He will be able to write too! I didn't get one for a couple weeks though.

Permalink Reply by Desiree on April 1, 2015 at 7:57pm

My boyfriend went through bootcamp last April through June and it was a tough 2 months. But to answer your question, yes the pain does go away. Make sure to stay busy and productive. Feel free to write to him. My boyfriend said that mail was his his saving grace. He couldn't wait for my letters. I wrote him everyday. And he said that's what kept him going. Everyone's experiences are all so different but don't be afraid to reach out because on this website, were all going through the same emotions. My boyfriend and I have been making it work long distance while he's in A school. If you have any questions send me and email! I promise you'll feel better soon!!

Permalink Reply by EmilyNicole98 on April 1, 2015 at 8:33pm

It will get easier, I promise! I cried so much I made myself sick when my husband was in bootcamp. Depression took hold and I barely got out of bed for the entire two months. That seems to be the norm for bootcamp because it's the first big separation and it's HARD. The first three weeks are the hardest. You won't hear from him and any letters you send will go unanswered for a while. But once you make it past that, you'll start getting weekly letters. Those are a lifeline and they really help both people in the relationship.

Looking further down the line... My husband was in bootcamp almost three years ago, summer of 2012. Since then we have done A school, a 7 month deployment, and about 6 underways ranging from 2 weeks to 6-7 weeks. I don't really notice it much anymore. It hurts like hell right before he leaves, but after a day I settle in. My rule of thumb is 24 hours - I get 24 hours to be sad and eat ice cream and watch sad movies and do nothing productive. After that time is up, it's time to rejoin the world and put on real clothes and eat real food and stop feeling sorry for myself. Force yourself to do it, I promise you it will get you through. The spouses that stay in the house all day are the ones that are miserable. Make sure you have a job or at least a place to volunteer at and friends and hobbies. And don't let everything revolve around him... For the first year and throughout that first deployment, I would watch my phone and email like a hawk. If I got a call, I would run out of work, class, social events, anything. All of that waiting was making me miserable and I didn't even realize it. I stopped doing it and now the absences are easy to handle. It becomes just another part of life after a while. Sometimes he's home, sometimes he's not. You learn to adjust. 

It's totally understandable to feel horribly sad right now, just make sure you find a way to pull yourself out of it within the next few weeks! You'll learn new ways to do it over time. As hard as it is, the less you focus on him the happier you'll be and the easier it'll be to get through. Focus on yourself and things that make you happy and the time will go much faster!