Comment

Comment by CindyLou (Louisville) on July 20, 2011 at 9:11am

I met my husband when I was 17 years old. We dated for 3 1/2 years and got married when we were 20. We have now been together for 26 years! I don't think getting married young is a cause of high divorce rate. I think naive and unrealistic views of what married life is like is the biggest cause. .Both partners have to work together, it cannot be all one sided. You have to share in the work and responsibilities. You have to be there for each other during the rough patches and then you can celebrate the good times and enjoy the rewards in life together. No matter what your age, you just need to be mature enough to know what marriage really is.

Comment by swim4life on July 20, 2011 at 9:09am

Emily,

  I think you are wonderful, and Aaron is lucky!  As far as what it takes to be a military wife, my Grandmother was my example.  Grandpa was an army colonel, so she raised 3 children and moved all over creation, trying to make each new place a "home".  She was strong, independent, read her bible every morning, and always had a sense of humor.  She invited friends over for dinner on Sunday and was a fabulous hostess, even after Grandpa died.  (I'm sure she did this when he was deployed, too!)  I think it takes a very strong, independent woman to succeed in a military marriage, or any marriage for that matter!  A sense of humor helps a lot, and so does faith.  And being crazy about your man and totally devoted to him helps, too!  I have always felt that if I work as hard at home as my husband does at work, things will work out.  We've been married 30 years....and yes, I still mow the lawn.!!!

Comment by amanda on July 20, 2011 at 9:08am

Denise- LOVED your pep talk :) I hope I can find a Sea mom like you did.

 

Bandito- I wish there was a boot camp for us wives! I mean, ya having the Long-term relationship was a test, but there's no crash course on how to be a good girlfriend/wife and what it's going to be like for the rest of the 6+ years. Maybe we can start a N4M gf/wife boot camp and not let our sailors date someone until their potential date passes lol

Comment by Mama C (PS E-Class 1202-1) on July 20, 2011 at 8:46am

This is an interesting conversation.  I'm dealing with a similar situation.  My son,  (19yrs.) is in A School and has a GF (17 yrs.) here at home.  They started dating somewhere around the first of the year, he left for BC in March.  They saw each other the endo of May in SC.  In early June, he tells me "he thinks she's the one".  I don't want to encourage of discourage it, but I did tell him that if "she was IT" that I would be happy for him.  If if didn't work and she couldn't handle the separation for at least the next 2 yrs. and they broke it off, I would be sorry for him ahead of time.

I'm headed to SC tomorrow and yes, the GF is going along with me and my daughter.  It'll be an interesting trip - 14 hrs. in a car will tell alot!  Even my daughter wants to see how they interact with each other and she's only 17 yrs. old herself! 

Both sets of parents agree that GF needs to get through college first.  That's always been priority for her family.  My son has 2 yrs. of Nuke school, plus deployment.  Only time will tell.  Will both of them be prepared for long separations and no contact - don't know.  I guess we'll see........sigh

 

Comment by nvmomma on July 20, 2011 at 12:32am

He may have meant that dating someone in your same class was highly discouraged as a conflict, distraction, etc. I remember he kinda liked a girl in his class but couldn't date her; then when she got rolled back to another class (long story), he thought he might give it a shot. Nothing came of it though...

Comment by mommajo on July 20, 2011 at 12:24am

Interesting--just talked to my son tonight and he talked about "lots of guys" getting married after power school grad.  He and his Charlestonia belle broke up because neither new where they would end up...she just graduated from college and is applying to PA schools.  We met her at graduation and she is really sweet...not the "dig your claws in" kind of girl.  I'm kind of sad they broke up but they both know they have to focus on their futures right now.  Who knows...

I'm laughing about the "soul mate" after 6 mos out...we'll all have to pass that on!

 

Comment by Binker & Bro: 2X Nuke Mom on July 20, 2011 at 12:21am

Good grief! Miss two days and the numbers pile up!

Binker and LadyLove are both Nukes and they dont have any problems. They pretended they were not dating for a long time just because they didnt want to send out negative vibes, but there were no restrictions against them dating.They also enjoyed getting all the advice from their buddies about how to attract the other (especially so Bink would quit mooning over her since she obviously couldnt stand him) so they had a real time play going on for anyone who wanted to watch to observe.

 

In Hanover IN for a NEH conference and my goodness! I had completely forgotten how god-forsaken hot it gets down here during the summer. Next time one of those NYers complain when its 90 with 60% humidity, I may have to do something drastic. Dont know HOW hot and humid it has been, but everytime I walk outside, my glasses fog over and I have a head cold from spending so much time in air conditioning!

 

When I was active duty, we were commonly told "If Uncle Sam wanted you to get married, he would have issues you a spouse at initial issue: 1 each, Military Spouse" (______ each, ________ was how everything was issued: 2 each, black socks; 3 each, trousers; 1 each, spouse!). Of course, you were expected to put that into your duffle and haul it back across base. I'm not sure how well a spouse would fit with all those under garments and socks!

Comment by Emily-aaronsgirl11 on July 19, 2011 at 11:52pm

There are tons of Nukes that are in relationships together. Frowned upon or not, it sees to happen a lot.
There's a Nuke in Prototype with Aaron in a pretty sticky situation. Another Nuke is knocked up (because of him), so he is going to divorce his civilian wife (can't divorce within a year of marriage in SC) so he can be with the knocked up Nuke who is trying to get out of the Navy because of the baby. Talk about Nuke Drama. 

Bandito's Mom- Bootcamp for the guys is bootcamp for us. I know Aaron and I's relationship changed immensely during bootcamp... and for the better. There are girls who definitely aren't cut out for being a military wife-- and I think its the extremely high maintenance girls who are dependent and cant survive on their own. However, I think a lot of girls could be if they tried. Example, I grew up in a military family. Grandfathers, Uncles, Cousins, Brothers. When my cousin (the one who is like an older sister to me)'s boyfriend (now husband) left for bootcamp, I would listen to her stories about breaking down in the store while buying stationary and dealing with his family and just plain being alone. I thought to myself, I could never do that. I'm so glad Aaron is just in college and we can talk whenever we want... Less than a year later, Aaron signed his contract, much to my dismay. I had no idea what was going to happen, and to be completely honest the day he left, neither one of us knew if we were going to be able to stick it out. But we have. And we will continue to. It doesn't matter what the Navy or the world throws at us, and it doesn't matter that we're young. It doesn't matter how many times my mom tries to set me up with other guys or how many people tell us we're young. I don't care about the long hours (sure, they SUCK and I need to vent every now and then), and I don't care about how many days out of the year I get to hold his hand and kiss him. Honestly, the only thing that matters at all is our love. If two people have the love and desire to stick together through thick and thin, it will happen whether the military is involved or not. 
Just my two cents. I'm now going to go watch a sad chick flick and dream sweet dreams. :)

Comment by Bandito's Mom on July 19, 2011 at 11:11pm

So, how do you know if someone is able to be a military wife before they are?  People convince themselves that they can do all sorts of things.  The wives don't have Wife Bootcamp to prepare them.

Comment by Bandito's Mom on July 19, 2011 at 11:04pm

When my son was 18, he went out of state to college.  Then GF wanted to go to same school, but couldn't get the same financial package and her parents said she needed to go to an in-state school.  We suggested (ok pushed and prodded) that son would be better off in college without a long distance relationship.  Nothing against her, we just wanted him to have that experience.  He seemed to agree and broke it off, but within months, they were back together and he quit school to come back home.  He is now 21 and recently married her.  Sometimes I think that parents can't really sway them one way or another.   I just figure she doesn't know about our actions earlier and we are lucky that she really likes us and wants to be a part of our family.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 3749
• 3750
• 3751
• 3752
• 3753
• …
• 4730
• Next ›
• Page