Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by BootsnPanama on July 6, 2014 at 1:22pm

My son is leaving then as well.

Permalink Reply by hearthhaven on July 6, 2014 at 1:33pm

What is his date?  Our son has a date of January 6th. 

Permalink Reply by hearthhaven on July 6, 2014 at 2:36pm

How are you holding up? 

Permalink Reply by ConcernedMom on November 5, 2014 at 1:26am

My son also fly out in January 6th! I hide the tears from him but my heart is breaking!!!

Permalink Reply by hearthhaven on November 5, 2014 at 7:54am

I know the feeling.  I'm trying to stay strong for him when he is around.  He's getting those last minute jitters that we all get before big changes in our lives so I'm being supportive of his decision and helping him through his questioning.  I know it's perfectly normal for him to have second thoughts as the time approaches.  It's scary for them, too.  We sat and talked with his recruiter yesterday about it.  I know this is what our son really wants to do.  We had a little scare last week about a small medical thing but it all worked out.  However, during that few hours when there seemed to be a chance that he might not get to pursue his dream of being in the Navy, I was devastated for him.  I realized during that uncertain bit of time that our son's happiness totally trumps any sadness that I have.  He needs to be able to reach for his dreams and achieve his goals and that's so much more important than my sadness in his leaving and flying away from home.  

That is not to say I am still not sad.  I am.  Without question.  But I am going to desperately try to remember that above feeling when my heart feels like breaking and the tears are flowing.  I"m going to TRY.  

Permalink Reply by ConcernedMom on November 6, 2014 at 12:10am

You sound just like me, trying so hard to be strong, but the tears are there.!! Webwill do this together.

Permalink Reply by hearthhaven on November 6, 2014 at 9:26am

It's so hard.  A month from today, our son will celebrate his 19th birthday.  Two months from today he will leave for boot camp.  The holidays are going to be so bittersweet this year.  Was thinking about Christmas gifts yesterday and really the only things I can think of for him are a black wallet and calling cards.  That made me sad.  He had an appointment with his pediatrician last week who has taken care of him since he was a baby and they said 'farewell' to one another.  That made me sad.  It seems so much is making me sad these days.  There are so many 'last times' that are happening.  

We talked for a while last night.  First trying to plan just a little mom/son overnight or weekend get away.  And secondly I wanted to let him that I will do my best to stay strong and not shed too many tears around him because I know that makes it hard on him.  I explained I would do my best but might not always be successful.  But if I do cry around him, that that is my momma thing.  I assured him that his happiness, his dreams, his becoming a man in his own right, his spreading his wings and growing up, his goals, etc., completely trump my sadness.  That those things, for him, are more important to me than the sadness I feel as a momma watching him 'take off'.  That it's hard for me, for a parent, to let go, but we really only want the best for our kids, for them to be happy and soar.  And I asked him to remember that when he does see those unavoidable tears in my eyes at times.  Although ideally I know it's been suggested not to let our kids see our tears and to put on a strong front, I also know that I might not always be able to do that and I wanted to talk to him about that.  Plus we've always been honest with each other in our family about our feelings and emotions and he knows I'm an open heart book so don't even know if he would buy into the 'tough mom' gig.  

So that's how I'm dealing with this at the moment.  I can't believe we're already down to the two month mark.  And I know how fast that time is going to fly by.  Makes my heart just ache so deeply.  These moments are so precious.  Let's cherish them with our kids.  

Permalink Reply by adpsmom on November 6, 2014 at 11:25am

 I am such an emotional person, too. I cry all the time about a lot of things. My son would never buy the "tough mom" act. I don't cry all the time when we talk about it around my house, but I do get teary eyed a lot when I let my thoughts dwell on it. He knows to expect this from me. My son shows very little emotion, so I am not really sure how he feels when he sees me cry. I am sure he effects him some, but he worries about absolutely nothing. He lives his life by the following Bible verse.

Matthew 6:34

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I am trying to be more like him in this manner, but it is not easy.

Ladies, we are going to help each other through this tough time. We will make it. And, just think how proud we will be come graduation time!

Permalink Reply by Gator fan on November 7, 2014 at 11:47pm

I feel bad reading your posts about how sad you are that your sons are leaving.  I feel like a terrible mom because I'm not sad at all.  I'm happy that  he's doing this and has encouraged him to do it from the beginning.  His dad and I both have.  Maybe it's because my son is 23 and just doesn't know what he wants to do with his life.  He has gone from job to job and can't find anything he wants to do.  He needs the structure and discipline the Navy will give him, along with training and an education.  He went to college at 18 for a semester and dropped out after that.  His older sister and his twin sister have both graduated from college and he realized this summer that if he had stayed in school, he would have graduated by now and be working in a profession.  He made the decision to do this and is looking forward to it.  I think he believes it's going to be easier than it will be.  He has an easy going attitude about life.  His favorite saying is "don't worry mom.  Everything's going to be fine."   Actually I think it's more a "stick his head in the sand" attitude and if I just ignore things, they'll go away.  Like bills.  So he has a lot to learn about life and I'm hoping he'll learn them in the Navy.  So am I sad that he's going, will I miss him? Yes, but I'm also happy he's going.  So I hope this doesn't make me a terrible mom.  I don't think I'm going to cry, but I guess I'll know in 2 months.  I didn't cry when we dropped off either of our daughters at college.  I began thinking that this is way God gave us teenagers, so that when they left, we weren't sad.  But then girls are harder to deal with as teenagers than boys.  He's definitely not a teenager so it's definitely time for him to leave.  I wish all of you good luck and hopefully our sons will be together at boot camp and we'll get to meet.  Just look for me.  I'll be the one sobbing at graduation.

Permalink Reply by adpsmom on November 9, 2014 at 6:55pm

Not for one minute would I think that you are a bad mother. We all handle things differently. We are all here supporting our future sailors and each other! By the way, pretty sure you won't be the only one sobbing at graduation, haha. I know for a fact that I will be right there with you.

Permalink Reply by hearthhaven on November 12, 2014 at 9:58am

You are in no way a bad mom!!!!!!  All of us are on our own individual journeys with our kids, as they have their own journeys they are on.  And how we each handle whatever situation we find ourselves in is how we need to handle it.  We do what is best for ourselves, for our children, for our families.  

We can all sit together at PIR and sob together! For joy, for pride, for love. 

Permalink Reply by BootsnPanama on July 6, 2014 at 7:00pm

Doing ok. This site is so helpful. I'm really trying to remember something that I read here. Don't miss them before they are gone. Most of my tears are shed in private. (like now) Telling him I love him. Planning lots of fun things forus to do this summer.

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